Sometimes I really think I'm going insane. Or that I've already gotten there.
Sometimes I get these strange feelings. I can't describe them. It's like something's churning in my gut. I don't know why that is. After that, I feel as if I'm choking up, can't speak, can't breathe. My body gets all tense. That happened last week, as I was lying in bed on my stomach. My hands were stretched out in front of me, underneath the pillow. My head was turned to the left, my eyes closed. I felt like I was being pressed down. The feeling lasted about a minute or two. When I opened my eyes, it was like I was slapped in the face, and I was coming out of the shock.
I tried to recreate the moment, physically and mentally, even trying to rethink what I was thinking that night, in the hopes that maybe I'd remember something. But I haven't been able to.
This is really consuming me.