Every time I think I'm moving one step ahead, it ends up that I'm pushed five steps back.
I do believe in God. I seriously do. But there are times when I want to shake my fists into the air and scream out loud:
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME? WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO KEEP GOING THROUGH ALL THIS? ISN'T IT BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU FUCKED ME UP ONCE...TWICE..THREE TIMES? DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE FACING SOME TYPE OF FUCKING TEST? WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD GETS WHATEVER IT IS THAT THEY FUCKING WANT - BUT WHEN I GET IT - IT COMES AT A PRICE?
Then I realize how pathetic I sound. That I end up sounding like a whining, sniveling, piece of garbage. Then I realize that I just deserve all of this. Everything that comes my way.