I'm a complete and utter fake. I walk through my life as though I'm someone completely different. I pretend to be happy. I pretend to be normal. Deep down inside, I know I'm not. Just when things get really good, something inside me wants to sabotage everything. Like today.
I woke up today in such a funk. I was so upset at the world. I was so upset at me. Everything around me just made me want to close up inside myself. Every person I saw made me cringe. Everyone that spoke to me made me want to cry. I felt so alone among all those people today that I just wanted to run away screaming. Speaking hurt. Smiling felt like it was painful. Thinking was a chore. I felt so tired. I hate those questions. "What's wrong?"..."Are you okay?"..."Everything okay?". Pfft.
Then I get so angry with myself. I can't believe that I let myself be like this. No one is supposed to know that something is wrong with me. Fuck.